I went to half an Orangetheory class on Monday morning.

Not because I ran out of time. Because I only needed half a class.

August is Marathon Month at Orangetheory. You pick a distance and try to accumulate that many miles throughout your classes during the month. You can choose a half marathon at 13.1 miles, a marathon at 26.2, or an Ultra at 31.1.

Of course I chose the Ultra. Because apparently I know myself but also learn nothing. 😂

There was just one small problem. I had forgotten that I was going to be traveling for basically the entire first half of August. I managed to squeeze in one workout while I was away and logged exactly one mile toward my 31.1-mile goal. So when I finally got home, I had about half a month left and 30.1 miles to go.

My first reaction was resignation.

Welp. That’s not happening.

But here’s the thing. I didn’t actually decide to quit. I knew I would still go to classes. I knew I would still accumulate miles. I knew I would keep checking my total and doing the math in my head. But I also knew that meant trudging through those workouts with the mindset that I was behind and trying to salvage what I could.

So I shifted.

I looked at the number again and thought: Wait. I can do this.

It wasn’t going to happen accidentally. I would need to plan my classes. I would need to push myself a little harder. I would need to pay attention to the miles I was accumulating and figure out what I needed to average. And, because apparently August Jenn also enjoys making things difficult for September Jenn, I was traveling again on August 31.

But it was possible.

I decided I was going to do it.

What strikes me now is that the physical work required of me didn’t change when I moved from resignation to determination. The treadmill didn’t get easier. My calendar didn’t magically open up. I didn’t get those first two weeks of August back. I still had to cover 30.1 miles in roughly half a month.

The circumstances didn’t change. I did.

And that completely changed my experience of the challenge.

When I was resigned, it was all about how far behind I was and how much work remained. Determined me, though? She looked forward. How many classes could I fit in? How many miles could I get today? What would I need tomorrow? Could I actually pull this off?

The work stopped feeling like something that was happening to me and became a problem I was actively solving.

Which is how I ended up walking into Orangetheory on August 31, before leaving town yet again, knowing I only needed part of a class to finish. I got on the treadmill, crossed 31.1 miles, kept going for a bit, and finished Marathon Month with 31.52.

Same treadmill. Same miles. Same legs. Very different experience.

We tend to think determination is what keeps us from quitting. But I’m not sure that’s always true. Sometimes we’re going to keep going either way. We’ll show up for the job, finish the project, get through the difficult season, do the thing that needs to be done.

The question is how we choose to experience the work while we’re doing it.

Resignation says, Fine. I guess I have to do this.

Determination says, Okay. How am I going to do this?

Those two people may look exactly the same from the outside. They’re both putting one foot in front of the other.

But only one of them is looking forward.

TL;DR: Sometimes determination isn’t deciding to keep going. It’s deciding that if you’re going to keep going anyway, you might as well see what you’re capable of.